All She Ever Wanted
by sharmen
Summary: Alternate season 5-ish, two years after season 3. Shane never left Carmen at the wedding, and Helena didn’t get ‘cut off’ by Peggy. Bette and Tina are back together. Mainly Shane/Carmen.
1. Trying

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters and I don't have anything to do with the TV Series

Plot: Alternate season 5-ish, two years after season 3. Shane never left Carmen at the wedding, and Helena didn't get 'cut off' by Peggy. Bette and Tina are back together. Mainly Shane/Carmen.

* * *

Prologue

"I love you," Shane sighed as she kissed every inch of Carmen's skin. With both their bodies tangled up and entwined within each other, neither one of them had ever felt so whole with their lives before.

"Let's do this…" Carmen whispered into Shane's ear with a husky tone overlaying her voice. "…Let's make our baby.

* * *

"Refill?" The waitress holding a pot of piping hot coffee asked the three women, gathering at the Planet as they usually did. The three were in deep conversation and simply shook their heads at the young girl, and continued their heated discussion.

"I can't believe the girl I used to fuck in high school, the girl that should have credit for 'outing' me, has settled down and is trying for a baby… with Vanilla spice!"

"Gosh Papi, get over it. I mean really, I think it's great that Shane's just committing even more deeply to Carmen. It's such an amazing thing to do with someone, having a baby." Alice replied as she took a sip of coffee. "Yeah, sure, having Angelica didn't exactly solve all of Bette and Tina's problems, but their relationship was on the rocks in the first place!"

"Well I think it's dumb. Babies are cute but vanilla spice doesn't seem the type, you know what I'm saying?" Papi said casually. Her disliking for Shane was extremely obvious and she didn't bother to make it any other way, especially when she found out that Shane was married to Carmen de la Pica Morales, Papi's (or Eva Torres') first ever lesbian crush.

"Look Papi, I think you should just keep your opinions to yourself. The last thing Carmen and Shane need right now is someone like you, judging them. Seriously, leave it alone." Tasha told Papi in a disapproving tone. Alice looked at her adoringly and gave her a loving kiss on the lips.

"Thanks for backing me up, baby." She smiled. Papi made a disgusted face and a choking noise at the same time.

* * *

6 weeks later…

"Carmen, c'mon, we're gonna be late!" Shane yelled from the living room, slouched on the couch wearing her signature 'smart' outfit – black trousers, a white shirt and a black tie.

"Bette and Tina live next door!" Carmen shouted back at her, rushing to get ready. Deciding that the yelling conversation was silly, she came into the living room to speak to Shane. Looking up, Shane had to catch her breath as she saw her love dressed in a short, white floaty mini-dress. It fit her comfortably, emphasising her small waist, 'killer' legs, plump breasts and tanned skin. She looked like a Goddess. "Earth to Shane!" Carmen giggled.

"Sorry," Shane smiled "you look… beautiful, baby." She opened her arms, beckoning Carmen to come to her, which she did. She rested herself on Shane's lap and sighed.

"I don't feel so good," she said, turning to look at Shane, then turning back and playing with the rings on her wedding ring finger.

"What's wrong?" Shane asked with a hint of concern. "If this is a way to get out of going to Tina and Bette's to…" she kissed the bare skin of Carmen's arm "…fuck all night…"

"No, no, no." Carmen stood up. "I just feel weird, that's all. I want to go to the dinner party. It's the first time all of us have hung out together in a long time, and we haven't even seen Jenny since she moved out!"

"Yeah… well, are you ready?"

"Mmhmm. I just need to put my shoes…fuck!" Carmen was interrupted by a sudden splurge of vomit in her mouth, causing her to run to the bathroom. Shane stood up abruptly, worried about her. She walked into the bathroom to see Carmen puking her guts up over the toilet.

Holding her hair up, Shane asked "Why didn't you tell me that you're sick baby?"

"I'm not, I don't know what's wrong with me!" Carmen stopped vomiting and turned to lean her back against the toilet. "I've just been really stressed out lately baby, you know that. And I've been upset because I got my period today…"

"Oh…you did?" Shane asked disappointedly. She really wanted a baby with Carmen, and she felt that Carmen did too. They had been trying for about half a year, with a short break, but with no luck.

"Well yeah, kinda. It's more like spotting, but."

"Well you might be… you never know, I mean… that still happens, right?" She asked, the disappointment gone in her voice, now being taken over by a sign of hope. Carmen got up from the floor and started brushing her teeth in front of the mirror. She spat the tooth paste out and put her tooth brush back in its stand.

"I guess," she sighed. She walked out of the bathroom, grabbed her shoes and put them on. "Can we go now?"

* * *

"I am so glad we're all here!" Tina said as she smiled at all her friends in front of her, cocktail in hand.

"Shane and Carmen aren't here yet, baby…" Bette stated, just as the doorbell rang. She put her drink down and opened the door.

"Hey!" Shane greeted Bette, as she gestured for them to come in.

"Come on in, everyone else is here. Beer, Shane?"

"Uh yeah, please." She nodded.

"Carmen?" Bette asked.

"Um no, we're still…"

"Oh shit sorry! I forgot you guys are still trying. How's it going?"

Carmen shrugged and walked past Bette to go greet Tina and everyone else. Shane looked at Bette apologetically with a look that explained pretty much everything. Bette smiled at her understandingly and moved to let her pass.


	2. That

Carmen walked out into the backyard to see Alice, Tasha, Helena, Papi, Jenny, and Kit all talking, drinking and having a good time by the pool. She walked up to Alice and Tasha.

"Hey guys," she smiled at them, shrugging off the uneasiness she felt earlier on.

"Heeeey!" Alice hugged Carmen tightly. "How are you? "

"I'm good, yeah. How bout you guys?"

"We're great! We moved in together," Tasha wrapped her arm around Alice, grinning widely.

"That's awesome! Awe, I'm so happy for you guys!" Carmen hugged them both.

"Dinner is served!" Bette exclaimed in a mockingly 'posh' tone. Everyone took their seats at the large modern dining table on the patio, surrounded by lovely fairy lights which created "the perfect atmosphere" – Bette's idea, of course.

Throughout dinner, everyone chatted excitedly about what was going on currently in their lives. From a lavish new home (Helena) to various lady conquests (Papi) to talking about Angelica and how she said a big word today, everyone was fairly happy in their lives. Carmen stayed quiet and was more of a listener though, as Shane and Tina had noticed.

"You okay, Carm?" Tina asked as she broke Carmen out of her daze. "You don't seem to be eating much…"

"Oh yeah, the food's great, I'm just really not that hungry, sorry Ti…"

"You haven't eaten all day, baby." Shane said bluntly.

Carmen turned to look at her almost pointedly, but instead hung her head and continued playing with the food on her plate. "I just haven't felt hungry, okay. Just stop it!"

"Stop what?" Shane asked now slightly confused. Carmen got out of her seat and by this point everyone had stopped their separate conversations and were now listening in an awkward silence.

"I need to breathe!" Carmen stormed off into the house. She grabbed her small cardigan and walked out through the front door. Shane got up to go after her but Bette interrupted.

"Just leave her to cool off, Shane. She'll be fine."

"But…"

"Really, Shane. She'll be fine, I know." Tina told her reassuringly. At this moment Bette and Tina looked at each other knowingly, smirking slightly. Oh boy.

* * *

By the time Shane got home, she was so drunk that Alice and Tasha had to walk her to the house just to make sure she'd get home okay.

"Thanks, guyssssssssssss…" Shane slurred with her eyes almost closed half-way. "You're great pals, really… really, really, great… I love ya. Gotta love ya…" She continued muttering to herself as she tried to stick her keychain into the lock.

"Uhh…" Alice took the keys out of her hand and inserted the actual key into the door.

"I was testing you! To see if you knew how to get into my house… which is bad, because you do! BURGLAR, BURGLAR!" She shouted, waving her arms about.

"Shhhhh, Shane! Carmen's probably asleep! It's 4 am!"

"We'd better get going, anyway…" Tasha added. Alice nodded and the two said their goodbyes to Shane, and left.

Shane entered the house and ventured to the kitchen. She opened the door of the refrigerator and grabbed a bottle of Dos Equis. She then continued into hers and Carmen's bedroom, to see that Carmen was fast asleep. There were evident tear stains on her face and on the pillow, but Shane was too drunk to care.

"Fuck this!" She muttered, grabbing the keys to her Escalade and making a swift exit.

* * *

Sitting on the half-pipe, she looked up at the hair-dressing/skating empire she'd built in the last two years. Her life had never been so perfect, but now it was. Marrying Carmen was the best thing she'd ever done, she couldn't imagine it being any other way. They started talking about kids about a year into their marriage, everything was so blissful and both of them knew that the only thing that was missing was for them to start a family, so of course a while after that they started trying. They succeeded twice but both times Carmen had miscarried, and although she was quite early in the pregnancy, Shane knew that Carmen felt like a part of her was lost. In this time, Carmen and Tina got closer because Tina had been in the same position as her. Shane talked to Bette about not knowing what to do, because she was hurting so much about the losses but also because she didn't know how to be around Carmen anymore. None of the talking helped though. But there was something that would help…

"I never expected you to call, you little freak." A slim figure appeared out of the dark, wearing Minolo Blahniks and a light pink satin Chanel suit.


	3. Never again

Shane looked up at the woman

Shane looked up at the woman. "I didn't expect you to show up."

"Well, here I am. So are you gonna fuck me, or what?"

"It's… complicated, Cherie." Shane said in a tone that stated _don't fucking start with me, woman_.

"You know, I still can't believe you married that stupid little cha-cha girl…"

"Shut the fuck up!" Shane snapped, which caused Cherie to jump in surprise. "You don't know her. I love her!"

"Then why did you call me?" Cherie mocked. Shane got up and started to walk away.

"Where are you going?!"

"I thought you wanted me to fuck you?" She yelled back at her. Cherie followed her to her car…

* * *

Carmen woke up the next morning to find that she was alone in bed. She realised that Shane didn't come home. After calling Jenny, Bette and Helena, she called Alice who told her that her and Tasha had walked Shane to the house and even watched her go in.

"She was really, really drunk though, Carmen. Where could she possibly have gone?"

"I don't know, Al." Carmen lied. Of course she knew. The one place Shane always goes when she's 'sad'. "Well I've got to go, I've got a doctor's appointment to see what's up with me."

"Oh, okay. You wanna come to the Planet after? Tasha and I will probably be there…" Alice suggested eagerly. She felt so sorry for Carmen. Shane could be such a fucking pain when she wanted to!

"I'll see what I feel like, okay? Thanks for your help, Alice." She hung up the phone and sighed.

* * *

"Yes Carmen, these tests are absolutely positive. Congratulations!" Doctor Brookes exclaimed with a genuine smile on her face.

"Are you sure… I mean… you said, considering…" Carmen hated going to the doctor's. Doctor's practices and hospitals, they're all the same. They looked so cold, smelt so sterile…ugh.

"Yes I know, considering what you've been through. It's amazing! This is what you want, isn't it?"

"Of course…" It suddenly occurred to her what was happening. This is what they'd been waiting for, all they ever wanted. All she ever wanted. She grinned widely.

"And you're a bit farther along that you were the previous times, so there is a very good chance here. My most genuine congratulations, Carmen. As your doctor and also your friend, I'm so happy for you!"

"Thank you… thank you!" Carmen continued grinning. She couldn't help but feel a burst of joy inside. She was pregnant. Everything that she was dreading had now gone away. It would all be okay. Until she thought of telling Shane.

* * *

"Hi, I'll have a de-caffeinated mocha frappucino please. No cream, thanks."

"De-caff!" Alice popped up out of nowhere, it seemed "is there something I should know, Carm?"

Carmen smiled at her and raised her eyebrows suggestively. Immediately, Alice shrieked in joy and threw herself at Carmen, hugging her tightly. "This is sooo great!" She lowered her voice "does Shane know?"

"No!" Carmen snapped "I mean, I haven't even seen her… but I think I know where she is." The tone of her voice lowered.

Alice shook her head in shock. "No way! No no no, no way! That's not Shane anymore! I mean… gosh!"

The two proceeded to a table and sat down. "Speak of the devil!" Alice half-whispered. Carmen turned around to see Shane walking into the planet, in the same outfit she was wearing the night before, without the tie. Her hair was ruffled and she was wearing sunglasses – she was obviously hung over and feeling rough. Carmen turned back to Alice, wishing Shane hadn't seen them. This was so stupid and childish, hiding from each other! _We're married, for fuck's sake!_ She thought to herself.

She felt Shane coming up behind her. Suddenly, she panicked and grabbed her bag to leave but as soon as she got up, Shane was right in front of her.

_FUCK. Confrontation it is, then_.

She sat back down and waited for Shane to say something.

"I'm sorry…" Shane started

"SORRY? YOU'RE FUCKING SORRY?!" She yelled. Suddenly the whole café was quiet.

"Carmen, you're making a scene!" Shane tried to reason, but of course failed miserably.

"A scene? Well you should have thought of that before you FUCKED CHERIE JAFFE ALL NIGHT LONG!" And then Carmen did something that nobody could have predicted. It was as though her arm had raised itself, and had a life of its own; but it was too late to do anything about it. The palm of her hand interacted with the bare skin of Shane's cheek for a millisecond, but for that millisecond, all the rage that Carmen felt was transfused into the slap.

"Fuck, Carmen!" Shane shouted immediately after there was a slapping sound. She clutched the left side of her face in her hands and looked as though she was in agony. Carmen burst into tears and ran out of the café. Alice sat there in shock of what had just happened. Shane looked at her with her mouth wide open, still clutching her cheek.

"Shane, I need to tell you something that I'm not supposed to tell you!"

"Fight the urge, I'm in pain!" Shane exclaimed.

"Yeah I can see that, but, Shaaaaaaaaane! It's important! It's about Carmen! She went to the doctor's today…"

Shane sat down immediately. "What, is she sick?"

"Umm.. no, she's. Oh, Shane you're such a fucking asshole! She's pregnant!" Alice told her angrily. She rolled her eyes. "She was being hormonal last night, deal with it! And you got 'sad' and went and fucked Cherie Jaffe?! What, are you gonna keep doing that for the next nine months?"

_What the fuck have I done?_

* * *

"Carmen?" Shane queried softly as she entered the house. Carmen was nowhere in sight, but she could hear the shower so she headed towards the bathroom. She opened the door. "Baby?"

Carmen was on the shower floor, curled up and sobbing. Shane didn't think twice about getting into the shower and holding her. Carmen pushed her away. "Fuck you! Fuck you, Shane!" She started sobbing more uncontrollably, curling her fists up and punching Shane's chest, giving up eventually. She nestled her head under her chin and continued crying.

"I'm sorry, baby. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." She kissed Carmen's wet hair as the water from the shower pounded onto both of them. "I'm a fucking idiot, I don't know what else I can say baby. I love you so much, you mean more to me than life itself. I love you Carmen de la Pica Morales, I love you. I fucked up, I know. But I'm sorry. She's out of my life now, forever, I promise. I've got rid of all her numbers and everything baby, I swear from now on I'll never fuck up again. Please…"

Carmen looked up at her and nodded slightly. "I know. I… I love you, too. It just hurts. It hurts to know that you'll always go running back to Cherie Jaffe. And I'm afraid, Shane. I'm scared. Alice told you didn't she?"

Shane nodded. "I'm scared that I'll be having this baby on my own." Carmen continued.

"You won't baby, I promise. I swear. Never again… never again."


End file.
